Get Out of Your Own Way
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Get Out of Your Own Way by Dave Hollis
Goodreads Score 4.36 | 1,595 Ratings | 463 Reviews
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
When Dave Hollis’s wife, Rachel, began writing her #1 New York Times bestselling book, Girl, Wash Your Face, he bristled at her transparency and her willingness to talk about such intimate details of their life. But when a looming career funk, a growing drinking problem, and a challenging trek through therapy battered the Disney executive and father of four, Dave began to realize he was letting untruths about himself dictate his life. As he sank to the bottom of his valley, he had to make a choice. Would he push himself out of his comfort zone to become the best man he was capable of being, or would he play it safe and settle for mediocrity?
In Get Out of Your Own Way,Dave tackles topics he once found it difficult to be honest about, things like his struggles with alcohol, problems in his marriage, and his insecurities about being a dad. Dave helps us see our own journeys more clearly as he unpacks the lies he once believed—such as “I Have to Have It All Together,” “Failure Means You’re Weak,” and “If They Doesn’t Need Me, Will They Still Want Me?”—and reveals the tools that helped him change his life.
Offering encouragement, challenge, and a hundred moments to laugh at himself, Dave points the way for those of us who are, like he was, skeptical of self-help but wanting something more than status quo, and helps us drop bogus ideas about who we are supposed to be and finally start living as who we really are.
My Thoughts
I loved every bit of this book. I’ve read both of Dave’s wife Rachel’s books and loved those and Dave is just such a hoot I could not wait to dive into Get Out of Your Own Way. The good people at Harper Collins were kind enough to send me an advanced reader copy, and I did manage to finish the book before the release date. I had every intention of having this review up the week of its release, but Rona. Enough said? I think so. 😉 Let’s get into the review because better late than never, right. 😊
I should start by explaining the format of the book. Like Rachel’s Girl, Wash Your Face, each chapter focuses on a lie we tell ourselves. There is so much good advice in this book, but I’m going to touch on my favorites. Five of the nineteen chapters really spoke to me.
Chapter 1 The Lie: My Work Is Who I Am
This chapter talks about how our work does not define us. It is not who we are. It is what we do. Dave talks about how he’s had many professions over the years. He shares: “even though they (his jobs over the years) described the level of work I was doing, they didn’t describe who I was. They didn’t give me my value. At the time, I believed that they did, but believing it suggested that, without the title, I was inherently less.” Read that last part as many times as it takes to sink in. He goes on to share this other piece of gold, “I can be a good man regardless of where I work, but where I work and what I do does not in and of itself make me a good man.” One more time for the people in the back, Dave!
Chapter 6 The Lie: Everyone Is Thinking About What I'm Doing
Honestly, people, everyone is just worried about themselves, but let’s see what Dave has to say about this topic. “That’s not an indictment on the people in your life; it’s just a truth about the human condition. We are all worried about ourselves, and any reaction we have to other people tends to be a reflection of our own insecurities. If someone does have a problem with something you’re doing, it’s likely they are challenged by it, feel insecure because of it, are jealous of your willingness to chase after it, or are frustrated that your belief in yourself makes them more aware of their disbelief in their own ability. In the end, it’s rarely actually about you.” 🤯 Mic drop.
Chapter 8 The Lie: Failure Means You're Weak
This chapter speaks of the importance of failure in life. If we never fail, how will we ever grow? Dave gives examples of how he puts his kids in situations to fail so that they learn that failure is not a bad thing. Do you agree? I do, children need to learn early on that it’s ok to fail as long as they also learn to pick themselves back up and try again or try something new. Massive growth almost always comes out of failures but only if you let it.
Chapter 9 The Lie: It's My Job To Protect Them From Problems
This chapter, I think, goes hand in hand with chapter eight. It’s a great disservice to your loved ones to continually try and protect them from problems. Hardships in life also allow us to grow. “Growing through those difficult seasons allows us to come out stronger, more mature, more confident in our ability to handle whatever comes next.” Anyone that’s ever been through anything challenging will most likely attest to that.
Chapter 11 The Lie: If She Doesn't Love Me, I'm Not Lovable
Dave starts off this chapter with a couple of questions, “What gives us our sense of confidence? What is it that builds out self-esteem? I used to believe my value was tied directly to the connections I had, the way I looked, or just generally how other people saw me.” He also touches on how you’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. Not everyone is going to like you, and that’s ok. “The sooner you come to appreciate that you are enough as you are, that you are good as you are, that you are worthy as you are, the sooner you’ll be available to connect meaningfully in relationships as your true self.”
If you’re looking for a powerful, let’s do this type of book give Get Out of Your Own Way a read. Dave also provides a “things that helped me” section at the end of each chapter to give you ideas on how to overcome some of these roadblocks we put up for ourselves. I highly recommend this book as well as Rachel’s Girl, Wash Your Face and Girl, Stop Apologizing.
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Until next time be happy, be kind, be you!
Advance reader’s copy of Get Out of Your Own Way sent courtesy of Harper Collins
