Dyslexia – Our Family’s Story
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Did you know that 1 in 5 people have dyslexia? October is dyslexia awareness month. My oldest son, Devin, was diagnosed with dyslexia in January. I wish I could say the road to a diagnosis was easy for our family. Unfortunately, it took many meetings with teachers, and administrators, speaking with educator friends, and months of frustration before we finally had answers. Today, I’d like to share our story in the hopes of helping just one reader avoid some of these frustrations.
Over the months, I’ve realized how misunderstood dyslexia is. Now, I will not attempt to explain dyslexia because I am no expert. The Mayo Clinic defines dyslexia as a learning disorder that involves difficulty reading due to problems identifying speech sounds and learning how they relate to letters and words (decoding). Can I say how much I loathe that they reference this as a learning disorder? In my opinion, it’s a learning difference. Some of the most brilliant minds were and are dyslexic. Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, Cher, Steven Spielberg, Muhammad Ali, Richard Branson, and Pablo Picasso, to name a few. So, if someone tells you their child is dyslexic please don’t ever respond with an oh man, oh that’s too bad, oh no, or anything along those lines. Dyslexic people are extremely creative, great at problem-solving, empathetic, very observant, and able to see the bigger picture.
Devin is an incredibly brilliant and creative child. His mind works in unique ways. His thought processes are unlike anyone I’ve ever met. He is constantly building or reinventing things. He’s the kid that can follow instructions and put together a lego set, and once complete you’ll find him altering the design to create something new or make it better.
During Kindergarten I noticed Devin could read but he struggled. He would skip over words, and forget a word he just read. It didn’t raise any red flags for me as Devin is my first born and I didn’t know what to expect. He was flying right under the radar for his first few years of school. First grade was especially difficult for Devin. He was constantly getting in trouble and was sent to the principal’s office on several occasions. I’m sure you can imagine how frustrating this was as a parent. Here I was with my sweet, kind, intelligent boy, and I was at a loss as to why my child was acting out so much in school. Now in retrospect, it all makes sense. The big focus in first grade is reading. He was struggling, and he didn’t know how to express that. He was six, after all.
Here’s where one would think surely there are signs teachers and administrators know to look for. Sadly, that wasn’t the case for us. The teacher kept saying he had focus issues. I even went as far as to have the ADHD questionnaires filled out by a couple of his teachers. The answers were so different from both teachers that I realized his grade level teacher was clueless, and I wouldn’t be able to rely on her responses to get an accurate diagnosis. I thought I was living in a nightmare. I remember one time telling the principal I don’t understand, this isn’t my child, and I don’t know what to do. The response I received was to put him in boy scouts. He was in boy scouts! I wanted to scream!
Needless to say, first grade ended with no real answers and so much frustration. We went into second grade hoping a new teacher and classroom would help. I will say Devin’s second-grade teacher was great. He was doing better, but in reality, he was just learning to cope with his learning difference. I was still at a loss because the teachers kept saying he had focus issues. I didn’t know if Devin needed more stimulation or if we needed to look into treatment for ADHD. Well, second grade is when COVID happened. He spent the rest of that year and the following school year doing virtual school at home. Before COVID I asked to have him tested for the gifted and talented program. We weren’t against getting him tested for ADHD or medicating him if needed, but something kept telling us that wasn’t it. He started the GT testing but was never able to finish, and I decided the stress of virtual school was too much to add GT lessons to it, so we put the testing on hold.
Our virtual year together was very insightful. I was able to see what areas Devin was struggling in. I learned that when I read questions for him he would do much better than if he was on his own. This was when I started turning to my educator friends. I would have been lost without them. From them, I learned that most districts have diagnosticians who can test your child for a slue of learning differences. Throughout the virtual year, I learned that some kids were being pulled to have test questions read to them, and this is how I learned about learning accommodations. No one at the school ever told me about any of this! As hard as that virtual school year was for my boys and me, it was a blessing in disguise.
When fourth grade rolled around, thank everything holy we were rezoned for a new school. Devin was back in the classroom and still struggling with reading, writing, and spelling. I contacted the GT teacher at the new school and told her how we started testing but never finished and asked what we needed to do to proceed. Bless her, she took one look at Devin’s reading scores and suggested I get him tested for dyslexia and get some accommodations in place for him before she tests him. All it took was one look at his monthly reading tests to find something was amiss.
To this day I’m so grateful for her but so incredibly angry at our old school. That school failed Devin. That school categorized my child as something he wasn’t instead of digging deeper. Thinking about how many other children are facing this harsh reality breaks my heart. This is where I can’t stress enough the importance of advocating for your children. There are amazing educators and administrators out there, but not all have the experience, and it will be up to you to trust your gut and push back.
Fast forward, we finally have a diagnosis, we were able to put accommodations in place, and he is getting help from the fantastic dyslexia teacher at the new school. Devin is thriving! He finished fourth grade with a master’s grade level on his state testing for reading! I wish I could say that this was the end of the story and that we had fought all the battles. We have the answers, but now the real work starts. Now it is up to me as a parent to advocate for my child and make sure all the accommodations are being provided by the teachers because unfortunately, teachers are so overloaded these days that if you don’t stay on top of it things fall through the cracks. I’m also working on teaching Devin to advocate for himself. We have our good days and we have our tear-filled days, but we get through them together. Learning to navigate it all is a marathon, not a sprint.
Remember, you know your child best, so trust your gut and most school districts have diagnosticians that will test your child for learning differences. There are tools out there to help your child succeed, do your research, educate yourself, and advocate advocate advocate. Also, I think it’s important to be transparent with your child about the struggles of dyslexia while also highlighting the benefits of a dyslexic mind. Being dyslexic in the education system today is difficult but I believe with time and knowledge the system will adapt to all learning types, and we will see brilliant and creative minds flourish even more. I leave you with a list of Instagram accounts that have helped me better understand dyslexia, Dyslexia Connect, Dyslexic Labs, Made By Dyslexia, and Succeed With Dyslexia.
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask in the comments section below, and I will do my best to answer them or point you in the right direction.
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Until next time be happy, be kind, be you!
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